It's been over a year since I have posted anything here on My Thoughts, the time seems to have flown and yet as I sit here typing I almost feel a stranger. I'm another year older and another year wiser...one would hope.
The journey over the last 12months, actually 2years, has been one filled with just about every emotion I can think of, anger, distress, helplessness, anguish, hurt, disappointment, loss, doubt, loneliness and failure. How's that for a depressing list! And yes you can throw a dose of depression in there as well.
The most recent season of my life is definitely sitting on the top of the list as the most challenging chapter yet, one that was shaping up to be an extended version with no end in sight. I really didn't think I could see or believe that there was an end and that's because there isn't! I've finally come to the point where I've realised the road doesn't end, it's just that there is a bend ahead and I can't see around it. My strength and resilience were completely depleted and I didn't grasp and hang on to the One who would have carried me, will carry me and is carrying me.
At some point in the near future I will write about the events that have unfolded to date, but at this moment I don't feel that I can appropriately express in word the experiences that we have endured. I am now in the process of rebuilding my faith, choosing to jettison the negative and that which threatens to drag me under, and grasp hold tightly of all that is good, positive, and life building. It is a daily conscious decision and one way I have found to accomplish this goal is in encouraging others. The blessing I have received through the simple act of lifting up others in word has been astounding. It is my heart to nurture, and in doing so I have received the same in return. God is gently drawing me back, restoring that which I thought was lost. The story is far from over and some days I wonder how we will ever weather this storm, but seeing around the corner is not so much of an issue now, tackling each new day with a positive attitude is the focus and learning to trust in God again believing that all things work together for good.
Lxx
I'd love to see you visit my fb page SistasInArms. It's a place where we endeavor to encourage, brighten your day and perhaps bring a smile to your face. Hope to see you there ! :)
